Deciding to spend your life with someone is one of the biggest decisions we’ll ever make. We believe that building a solid foundation for that life is so important and that’s why we’re facilitating a free Marriage Prep course at Reading Gateway Church.
The Marriage Prep Course is an opportunity for you to invest in your relationship through five sessions. These have been created to help you to learn to communicate well, understand and appreciate your differences, and prepare for potential challenges. During these sessions you will learn practical tools to help you invest in your relationship for a lasting marriage.
In the introductory session, you will explore expectations inherited from family and upbringing; communication styles and effective communication; the importance of recognising and expressing your feelings; and some barriers to talking. You’ll also develop an awareness of bad listening habits versus the power of reflective listening. As a couple, you’ll discuss your backgrounds and communication styles and you’ll practice a listening exercise as demonstrated in the video.
Session 2 emphasises that conflict in marriage is to be expected as you adjust to your differences and unpacks the unhelpful approaches of the “rhino” and “hedgehog” for dealing with anger. Nicky and Sila look at recognising and accepting our differences in areas such as money management or family norms and share about the "10 o'clock rule". They look at five steps to help reach agreement as well as the importance of saying sorry and a practical three-step process for healing hurt.
This episode explores the benefits of the marriage commitment in terms of deep friendship and a strong family life, and the idea of an equal partnership with responsibilities divided up according to strengths. You’ll hear what it means to put each other’s needs above your own, looking at the marriage covenant and love that is deliberate and intentional, not just a feeling. You’ll also discuss two practical aspects of the marriage vows: dealing with finances and managing relationships with the wider family.
Nicky and Sila look at keeping love alive during the whole course of a marriage and the deliberate choice to do so. They unpack various tools such as a weekly date night (with no phones!) and using Gary Chapman’s “five love languages” (words of affirmation, gifts or presents, quality time, kind actions and physical touch). This episode also focusses on the importance of sex in marriage, giving practical advice for good sex that is us-oriented not me-oriented and addressing the devastating effects of porn.
Marriage provides us with one of life’s greatest opportunities and one of its greatest challenges. In the final session, you’ll learn four requirements for working together as a team in marriage: showing daily appreciation for each other; letting go of unrealistic expectations; being prepared to change; and recognising common overreactions. Nicky and Sila also discuss the importance of a couple’s values and priorities, and the roles of the more adventuring and more nurturing partner in the relationship.
The sessions will feel like a date night where each couple has their own table and private space to watch the course materials and chat 1:1, with the evening facilitated by course leaders Graham and Emma Bettes.
When: 7:30pm-9:15pm on Fridays, from 16th May to 20th June (excluding 30th May)
Where: Reading Gateway Church@ St Agnes in church hall 292 Northumberland Avenue RG2 8DD
Tea, coffee and sweet treats provided
The Marriage Prep and Marriage Courses was established nearly 30 years ago and since then more than 1.5m couples in at least 117 countries have completed them.
99% say that the course had a positive impact on their relationship, and 73% experienced significant improvement in their relationship from the course.
The Pre-Marriage Course is for couples who are engaged, newlywed or exploring the idea of marriage. It is for any couple looking to build strong, solid foundations for their future together.
If you’ve been cohabiting for less than two years, we recommend you start with The Marriage Prep Course.
If longer than this we suggest you review the website materials for both the Marriage Prep Course and The Marriage Course and decide which feels like a better fit. We’re happy to consult with you on this if that would be helpful.
Even if you are not yet engaged, The Pre-Marriage Course can serve as a tool to work on your relationship and help you decide whether or not you are ready to get engaged and married.
Yes absolutely. The Marriage Course is based on Christian principles but designed for couples with or without a Christian faith.
Each couple will be sat at a private table and space to ensure privacy for the evening. The evening will run with a combination of video course content and then space for each couple to privately discuss the topics and questions posed.
No. The Marriage Prep Course is designed so that you and your partner have space to discuss in a 1:1 environment. Your conversations will be private and you will not be asked to share any of your discussion with the wider group or the course facilitators.
No. The Marriage Prep Course is like a date night, based on some prompting questions and video content. The course facilitators are there to ensure smooth running and a safe space.
The Marriage Prep Course is still led by the original founders Nicky and Sila Lee along with a series of experts, all via a prerecorded video that will be shown. Your course facilitators will be Graham and Emma Bettes, themselves Marriage Prep Course (and The Marriage Course) graduates. Graham and Emma are members of Reading Gateway Church and will celebrate their 10 year anniversary this year.
There are five weekly sessions and each session lasts approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes including your conversations with each other as a couple.
Yes. To get the most out of The Marriage Prep Course or The Marriage Course we recommend you try to come to every session, but if you do miss one you could always ask the course organiser to catch you up by sending you the missed session’s episode. You can then work through it with your Guest Journals in your own time. We do not recommend you attempt to do the whole course on your own like this.
Each of the 5 weeks covers a different topic.
The topics are (1) Communication, (2) Conflict, (3) Commitment, (4) Connection, and (5) Adventure.
The Marriage Course is free to attend. Voluntary donations to support our ongoing marriage ministry are welcome.
There will not be a meal provided as part of the sessions so please do have food beforehand. Hot and cold drinks plus light snacks will be provided.
Just yourselves. A Marriage Prep Course workbook will be provided along with light refreshments.
To find out more email Emma and Graham marriagecourse@readinggateway.church with any questions.
